I Forgive You

By Jasin Deegan

The Hoffman Process is a powerful journey from the head into the heart. This experiential, week-long process allows participants to undergo a hero’s journey where they are able to dismantle behavioral and belief patterns that keep them stuck in old, outdated ways of being.

Not only does this journey support us in obtaining a sort of liberation from our old ego identity, the Hoffman Process also guides us into a place of greater compassion and understanding for others and, most importantly, greater understanding for our self. This greater awareness is self-compassion.

Self-Compassion

I define self-compassion as the ability (and practice) of holding myself amidst failure, disappointment, and suffering of any kind, and in the face of these life contractions, to still be able to offer myself love and kindness.

Self-compassion does not negate, pardon, or bypass accountability. After all, we are all human and the nature of the human condition is rooted in imperfection. Self-compassion is the hand that reaches out to us when we are on the slippery slope of the Left Road. It is the practice of loving ourselves out of shame and into wholeness – the place where we can connect to and embody our own capacity for radical self-love.

I Forgive You

Below is a prayer that I wrote to support my own journey out of shame and into self-compassion. It speaks to the different manifestations of my own Negative Love Syndrome, the ways in which I tried to obtain love for myself outside of myself. This prayer has become a ritual for me, and each time I read it I find myself leaning more into my own compassionate capacity.

From this place I remember that I am human; I will make mistakes and I will fall into patterns, but doing so does not diminish my worthiness for love and kindness. This is the voice of Self-Compassion, and this remembering is one of the many gifts that has come to me through a daily, compassionate practice.

Dear Anxious People Pleaser,
I forgive you
for not being authentically you –
for worrying
about what others think,
hiding yourself
for the sake of others,
and for following
in the footsteps of others,
rather than walking your own path.

I forgive you.

To the Heart-On-My-Sleeve,
I forgive you for,
in the process of
deeply caring for others,
you neglected to care for yourself,
allowing yourself to be walked upon,
and drained to depletion.

I forgive you.

To the Optimistic, Ever Hopeful Mask,
I forgive you for putting on
that smile rather than displaying
what you truly felt,
covering everything with an
“It’s all good!”

I forgive you.

To the insecure and frustrated boy,
I forgive you for
keeping everything buried,
locked up –
hidden,
and
by doing so,
you allowed yourself to grow
resentful, angry, and at times, cruel.

I forgive you.

To the Sacred, Crying Child Inside,
I forgive you
for acting upon your anger,
and self-loathing,
that you hardened your heart
and treated others with harshness –
becoming those who wounded you.

I forgive you.

To the broken Soul,
and Healing Spirit,
I forgive you for being
“strong” for so long
that you failed
to revel in your own brokenness.

I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.

Ashé.

Jasin Deegan is a graduate of the Hoffman Process. He is a Breathwork Facilitator and an ordained Minister. He lives in the Bay Area of California and works in the Hoffman central office as the Programs Administrative Assistant.