“I need help.”
By Andy Milberg
I’ve really hated admitting that to myself in the past.
It meant there was something wrong with me. I should be able to figure out how to resolve whatever was challenging me. After all, I’m a Hoffman teacher. I should always be able to access my own inner guidance and Spirit, and be able to resolve every issue myself.
I Need Help
Needing help from other people meant that I was weak, and I have never liked feeling weak or vulnerable. And so I wouldn’t reach out. And that kept me stuck in vicious cycles of fear, pain, avoidance, and distraction until I couldn’t stand it any longer and finally asked for help.
I’m writing this in late July, 2020. These past five months, I’ve been aware of the need for help more than usual, in spite of any expression, dialoguing, recycling, or Quad Checks that I’ve done, or not done.
Stay Connected
The stress of the pandemic, politics, social upheaval, and their as-yet-unknown effects on both my and our collective futures have challenged my ability to stay consistently connected to Spirit. Living in uncertain times is stressful and can trigger a slew of uncomfortable feelings and patterns.
I haven’t lost faith, and only occasionally have succumbed to despair (my old default pattern). But daily events challenge my Emotional Self’s need for security and my Intellect’s need to know and control.
Reach for Support
So when my internal resources aren’t enough, I now reach out for support. And when I do, the voice of my dark side subsides and my connection to Spirit is renewed. If you can relate to what I’ve written, I encourage you to do the same.
We’re all in this together, and Hoffman coaches are here to help you navigate this challenging time.
Andy Milberg did the Hoffman Process in 1990, and has been a teacher and coach since 1991. He is also a Certified Money Coach. Being part of the Hoffman Institute and supporting our amazing community of graduates has been his primary passion for these 30 years.
Elisa
08/16/20 at 5:35 PM
Thank you Andy – the timing of your post couldn’t be more perfect. As an executive coach with a psych degree I also believe I should be able to “resolve whatever is challenging me”. Thank you for the reminder that I am not alone in my experience. One of my patterns, which has been calling to me more and more recently, is to try to be totally self-sufficient. To protect by withdrawing. I’m curious about what’s possible if I reach out …
Andy
08/17/20 at 10:15 AM
You’re welcome, Elisa. Following that curiosity may lead you to some interesting discoveries…
ROXANNE JOFFE
08/04/20 at 8:39 AM
Andy, thank you. This blog could not be timed better for me. I have just learned that I have to have back surgery ASAP. I immediately went into the “strong girl” mode. I have tackled many challenges, I can do this, I can inspire others etc while all the while my quadrinity was permeated with fear. Reading your blog, along with talking to Maria, my HP coach, I was able to identify that I do need help, and it’s OK to ask(:
Andy
08/05/20 at 10:30 AM
You’re welcome, Roxanne. Sending much Light, Love and Healing for your surgery.
Cheryl Knight
08/03/20 at 12:21 PM
Thank you Andy! Your message resonates with me. Seeing myself as independent, it is difficult to remember that a stronger person asks others for help instead of bearing the burden alone. I have definitely struggled during COVID, and I do not use the practices as much as I think I should. However, that inner voice and light say that it’s okay because I am a human being. Again thank you for your words of encouragement.
Andy
08/05/20 at 10:31 AM
You’re welcome, Cheryl. I think that it is totally normal to be struggling during Covid.